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Tommy had been excited about our wedding. Over guests attended, and the ceremony took place in an enclosed garden on a warm night in July. The day Tommy came out to me, we were walking home from school. I nodded and figured he was going to ask more questions about why we had to get married for the second time.

When I was 11, I found out that my dad was gay. Still, I was confused. This was , and there were no healthy representations of gay people in the media, and I had absolutely no idea what having a gay dad would mean for me. Despite the emotional turbulence my dad and I had been through, I counted myself lucky. That message stuck with me throughout my life, and 25 years after I came out, when my friend Heidi, who I met at college, and I began discussing having a child together, I did not feel the same apprehension that plagues some other gay men. Heidi was essentially family to me, and we viewed having a child as a natural extension of our close friendship.

There were thousands of responses to this question, see how your fantasies compare to our survey respondents. Now all I think about is having sex with her in the shower at the gym. Also fake-rape scenario. Not a nice fantasy. I wouldn't want it to happen.

I looked up from my desk. My wife and I worked from home. The first inkling I had that Jason was going to walk a path very different from my own was when, for several months as a 3-year-old, he chose to dress in the play costume pieces my wife, Suz, had bought for him and his sister.